1.NTV reporter: '.....Kazini was killed by a hit on the head with a 2mm metal bar...'
Pardon me,mister..isnt 2mm about that ' ' wide? wat r we living in? zion?
-i wish all othr suspects wd also b quickly processed n not left to rot on remand.
2.A friend of mine mentioned dat guys mek d best hairdressers...
Meks sense,d inborn rivalry among babes cant permit them to do anything dat would mek their rival stand out,hence the burnt in d drier storiz(yeah,even i have heard thoz). Guys,on the other hand, love to look at nyc looking babes.
3.Uganda Waragi,the SPIRIT dat binds us!!?? seems to me like d devil was behind dat tag line....Be loosed in the name of JESUS!
4.Then thrz d radio one...'Dancing yo soul to eternity'...can literally hia d evil laugh. think on that next time u nod yo head to church heathen n dog si natas n...Lord help us,help mi!!
5.Wen u col me n instead of focusing on u, i throw my hot babe in yo face, tek a hint! i'm actually not complaining wen i se she is God's definition of beautiful. She beat u 2 me n am ecstatic abt that...move on n hope u find anthr like me(tok of a wild goose chase)
6.d arse(bleep) is an exit
7.Nigerian movies r called so 4 a reason....lets leave them thr!
8.At Kazini's(dude has d lol-est nem given d circumstances of his death) requiem mass,Sevo was referred to as d chief mourner! i bet even d wife was feeling sori 4 him 4 his loss
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
looks vs heart
'I know she's not much of a looker but once u knw her, u cant let her go.' 'The problem is dat u guys concentrate more on the looks n not d heart,' he adds in a self righteous tone.
Way to go, bruv...but let's agree to disagree on this one n fault me not for not being God, who can c d heart right away. Riddle me this tho, wen u c ha for the 1st tym, do u notice wat shade of black ha heart is? How do u find out that d heart is pretty?..... allow me to rephrase....wat draws u to say hello?
Is it not the fair skin, toned legs, pure seduction scent,etc? As i was growing up, my dad shared with me 5 fundamentals....allow me to pass them on. He said, 'If u bring home a gal as a wife to be, make sure she:
1. looks hot
2. is born again
3. isn't blonde
4. is hard working
5. isn't broke
n yeah, was in that order.
U c, tis not abt u having angel Gabriel's heart but look like a friend of mine's big toe, think that 'cobra' is d new old spice, have bows that van persie would b jealous of, etc
Tis not about u having d best motherly instincts n the most encouraging words to say n...
Yes, thoz do count...but tis also abt me holding my head up high wit u in my arm at a cocktail party, abt me not walking on the othr side of the road yet we are going to d sem destination n telling u i,m doing it so i can check u out n u buying d excuse, tis abt introducing u 2 my pals n have them shoot themselvz for failing to get thru to u....i cd go on
So my friend, d heart should b beautifully wrapped in a desirable package lest i am not inclined to saying hello n getting her number.
Make sense?
In a nut-shell, it helps to b Joan Murungi ....'nuf said
Way to go, bruv...but let's agree to disagree on this one n fault me not for not being God, who can c d heart right away. Riddle me this tho, wen u c ha for the 1st tym, do u notice wat shade of black ha heart is? How do u find out that d heart is pretty?..... allow me to rephrase....wat draws u to say hello?
Is it not the fair skin, toned legs, pure seduction scent,etc? As i was growing up, my dad shared with me 5 fundamentals....allow me to pass them on. He said, 'If u bring home a gal as a wife to be, make sure she:
1. looks hot
2. is born again
3. isn't blonde
4. is hard working
5. isn't broke
n yeah, was in that order.
U c, tis not abt u having angel Gabriel's heart but look like a friend of mine's big toe, think that 'cobra' is d new old spice, have bows that van persie would b jealous of, etc
Tis not about u having d best motherly instincts n the most encouraging words to say n...
Yes, thoz do count...but tis also abt me holding my head up high wit u in my arm at a cocktail party, abt me not walking on the othr side of the road yet we are going to d sem destination n telling u i,m doing it so i can check u out n u buying d excuse, tis abt introducing u 2 my pals n have them shoot themselvz for failing to get thru to u....i cd go on
So my friend, d heart should b beautifully wrapped in a desirable package lest i am not inclined to saying hello n getting her number.
Make sense?
In a nut-shell, it helps to b Joan Murungi ....'nuf said
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Theatre of reality!
Ok Fergie, time to throw the bouqet. Oi, Rafa stand next to Voyeur & Potato. Shut up Sven, BE CHAMPIONS !!!
Why men should write advice columns
Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors' daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors' daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increas ingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
......................................................................................................
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine... Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
WALTER
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors' daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors' daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increas ingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
..........................
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine... Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
WALTER
proof BO's not really black
Dats d ugliest piece of crap i've seen!!
Yet its his idea of a presidential limo
Why not stretch out an hummer/escalade with 18" spinners for shoes?
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Told u b4 n i say it again......dude isnt one of us!!
(waving fist)Power to d REAL black pipo!!!
50 n 1 things about mi
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yeah....me
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Pliz repeat the question
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? P.1.G
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? ol in gud time
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would b in love wit me
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Sir Arsene Wenger
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Help me out Jo
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? does cerelac count?
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? i un-buckle my shoes
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? depends on who i'm having it with
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes
15. RED OR PINK? as car paint or underwear?
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I sometimes come across as proud(so i've been told)...pipo smtymz miss d dove dat i am
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mum....by d time i get up,she's gone n wen i get home,she's olredi in bed(most of d time)
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? naah,just a few
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black n black
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the generator outside n d accountant toking
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? power to d black pipo!
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Pork on a barbe grill
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Joanitta Murungi
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Soccer
27. HAIR COLOR? Black
28. EYE COLOR? Brown.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? they r in me phone
30. FAVORITE FOOD? pork
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? anything but:nigerian,south american soaps,love stories.....in short,nothing girlie or blonde
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Redline
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? light blue
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
35. HUGS OR KISSES? depends.....from who?
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? (wink)
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ….
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? …..
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? just read my bible
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a mouse
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Quest means business
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? d roar of a subaru impreza wrx sti
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? neither
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Lavington
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? i have God's ear
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Mulago Hospital
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? ...
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? i escorted my bade on one of his benching sprees
49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? wats in d cup?
50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
1. God
2. Joanitta
3.Daddy
4.Me
5.Stil up for grabs
51. BEST ATTRIBUTES: hav we met?
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Pliz repeat the question
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? P.1.G
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? ol in gud time
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would b in love wit me
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Sir Arsene Wenger
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Help me out Jo
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? does cerelac count?
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? i un-buckle my shoes
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? depends on who i'm having it with
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes
15. RED OR PINK? as car paint or underwear?
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I sometimes come across as proud(so i've been told)...pipo smtymz miss d dove dat i am
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mum....by d time i get up,she's gone n wen i get home,she's olredi in bed(most of d time)
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? naah,just a few
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black n black
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the generator outside n d accountant toking
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? power to d black pipo!
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Pork on a barbe grill
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Joanitta Murungi
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Soccer
27. HAIR COLOR? Black
28. EYE COLOR? Brown.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? they r in me phone
30. FAVORITE FOOD? pork
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? anything but:nigerian,south american soaps,love stories.....in short,nothing girlie or blonde
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Redline
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? light blue
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
35. HUGS OR KISSES? depends.....from who?
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? (wink)
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ….
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? …..
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? just read my bible
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a mouse
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Quest means business
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? d roar of a subaru impreza wrx sti
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? neither
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Lavington
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? i have God's ear
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Mulago Hospital
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? ...
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? i escorted my bade on one of his benching sprees
49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? wats in d cup?
50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
1. God
2. Joanitta
3.Daddy
4.Me
5.Stil up for grabs
51. BEST ATTRIBUTES: hav we met?
i loathe 'el cuerpo del deseo'!
also called 'second chance' n 'ebikopo bya deleseo'
to think that a lovely sunday eve shd b punctuated by such mediocrity!
dat u cant catch a 7pm movie coz NTV rocks ha world at 8pm.......sori guys
not to mention d lame acting...
d lack of sensible plot...
'but d guy is really good looking,'they say...which is ok,coming from d babes(wil get bak to u soon)
wat abt d guys,wats yo reason?
1.u also find him good looking?
2.u want to be able to hold a conversation wit d gals d next day?
3.u think tis d buzz abt twn so u dont wanna b left out
if yo ans is 1:
u r gay!....'nuf said(refer to http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=68279817773 ...seem familiar?)
if yo ans is 2:
dats why u is stil single...u c,ol u r to them is this nice guy dat can hang wit d gals. wat they actually want is macho n not 'swit',in short, u r gay!
if yo ans is 3:
u hang ard d wrong crew but love it anyway...in othr words,u guessed it...u r gay!
as for d babes,
u r supposed to b d pipo dat drive on this nation,d reason we r ol hia,d neck dat turns d head...etc
why then do u jeopardize d vey future we r trying to make bright? allow me to xplain
....ever wondered why d show doesn't appear on piratebay.org n no one readily dwnloads it like lets say house,PB,24?
....ever wondered why,as u watch,thr is actually nothing to figure out?
....why even wen u miss d show for a month, u can stil follow?
....why d kidz dat watch house,PB,24 do beta in skul than thoz that watch 'dat show'?
....why dat guy didnt ask for yo number afta dat date?
if u,our mothers,r prone to this vice,think of our precious young ones.
tis from brazil,right? Ronaldo n co.,pliz stik to d soccer!
*Thank u baby, for not falling prey to this wave n for being d classy babe i always thought u is....i love u Jo,me future is always bright wit u as me teammate.*
'nuf said
to think that a lovely sunday eve shd b punctuated by such mediocrity!
dat u cant catch a 7pm movie coz NTV rocks ha world at 8pm.......sori guys
not to mention d lame acting...
d lack of sensible plot...
'but d guy is really good looking,'they say...which is ok,coming from d babes(wil get bak to u soon)
wat abt d guys,wats yo reason?
1.u also find him good looking?
2.u want to be able to hold a conversation wit d gals d next day?
3.u think tis d buzz abt twn so u dont wanna b left out
if yo ans is 1:
u r gay!....'nuf said(refer to http://www.facebook.com/no
if yo ans is 2:
dats why u is stil single...u c,ol u r to them is this nice guy dat can hang wit d gals. wat they actually want is macho n not 'swit',in short, u r gay!
if yo ans is 3:
u hang ard d wrong crew but love it anyway...in othr words,u guessed it...u r gay!
as for d babes,
u r supposed to b d pipo dat drive on this nation,d reason we r ol hia,d neck dat turns d head...etc
why then do u jeopardize d vey future we r trying to make bright? allow me to xplain
....ever wondered why d show doesn't appear on piratebay.org n no one readily dwnloads it like lets say house,PB,24?
....ever wondered why,as u watch,thr is actually nothing to figure out?
....why even wen u miss d show for a month, u can stil follow?
....why d kidz dat watch house,PB,24 do beta in skul than thoz that watch 'dat show'?
....why dat guy didnt ask for yo number afta dat date?
if u,our mothers,r prone to this vice,think of our precious young ones.
tis from brazil,right? Ronaldo n co.,pliz stik to d soccer!
*Thank u baby, for not falling prey to this wave n for being d classy babe i always thought u is....i love u Jo,me future is always bright wit u as me teammate.*
'nuf said
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