Fun at Your Local Pool

1.Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

2.Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.

3.Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ''Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....''

4.Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.

5.Swim near a stranger and go ''Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here.''

6.Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ''HA-HA, fooled you!''

7.Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.

8.Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.

9.Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.

10.Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

11.Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

12.Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.

13.Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.